Know Your Worth
What does that one statement mean to you?
Let me share what it means to me.
Over the course of 15 years my dating life has had many trials. I am 27 years old and yes I started “dating” when I was 12. I can’t say that I am proud of my choices. There is nothing proud about dating that young with the careless choices I decided to make. Not having a clue what I was doing and just longing for someone to love me I turned to men to satisfy me. I thought when I was with someone that they would make me happy and satisfy my soul. I had a longing to feel accepted and a longing to be loved by someone. The longing to be cared for and the longing to protected.
This came from a deep rooted issue that stemmed from not really being close with my father or mother growing up. It led me to turn to outside sources to try and fill the hole that only my parents and God could fill. Yes, God is the ultimate fulfillment but your parents also play a huge role in who you are and who you become. I should note that you don’t have to let that define you at all. What I am trying to get across is that you subconsciously develop these theories and habits from your parents. It takes being aware of them to be able to get them under control.
I lost my identity in men. I lost my identity is everything else around me. My identity would go into whatever season or thing I was into at the time. There were no deep roots for me. Nothing to keep me planted or grounded. Whatever way the wind blew I went.
As relationships went on and I dated guy after guy (which most were long term) I developed a back bone after each one ended. A back bone referring to what I wouldn’t put up with next. Although it took me till my 20’s to start to figure this out I was determined to know what I was worth. I started to discover that relationships don’t need to be based on abuse, manipulation, or always be one sided.
In 2013, when I started working closely with my spiritual pop he started to change my whole view on relationships period. It is why I always say, “be careful about who you allow to speak into your life.” He was for me and wanted me to understand the “God perspective” of relationships and how I am not just dating to date. I’m not just trying to find the next available good looking guy to be with that may have some potential to be my husband. I was falling deeper in love with The Lord but was dating people who didn’t even have a relationship with Him. What was I thinking? I WASN’T!! That’s my whole point here. I never understood my worth from God’s eyes. I never understood what it meant to have a relationship based on Christ. I was always just trying to make it work and didn’t think that God would really give me the desires of my heart.
Bringing this full circle, to today, I can proudly say that my standards aren’t based on what I think might work. They are based on God. I found my identity in Him. With my bad days, unsure days, depressing days, not-so-good days, I know I can still turn to Him and He is there. When I question who I am I go to His word to remind me of all the wonderful things He has to say. I struggle like anyone else to stay constant in Him at times. I struggle to remember the God standard but I know He is there to remind me when I forget.
Knowing your worth is so much more than just relationships though. It also can be tied into every other area of your life. Not settling for mediocre. Not settling for a life where everyday you wake up just hoping to get by. Get rid of that mindset. Take on God’s mindset and ask Him to show you the way.
Go to knowyourworthbook.com and be encouraged on your journey.