Is your body your idol? Is your identity defined by how your body looks?
Do you only feel healthy and strong if you have a six pack?
Are you comparing your fitness success to someone else’s success?
Or are you struggling with losing weight. Weight that goes up and down like a yo-yo.
Are you an emotional eater? Are you holding onto your weight because of all the past experiences you’ve been through?
In Spite Of All That – You Are Loved
You are a child of God. You’re loved. No matter what the scale says. No matter what you’re going through.
Focus on your inner beauty, and not so much on your outer appearance. That’s what God calls you to do.
Love your body.
It’s a journey and a process.
Don’t give up.
My Personal Identity Was Tied Into My Body
My whole identity used to be wrapped up in what people thought of my body. I cared way too much about my body image.
I thought if I didn’t have a six pack, or if I wasn’t the perfect weight, then people wouldn’t be inspired by me.
Most of the women I’ve worked with, come to me with the same struggles I had.
Most people don’t start their journey or go after their goals, because they’re not at their goal weight. They’re waiting for the perfect moment, or the perfect workout, to change their life.
They’ve lost their true identity and they don’t feel worthy.
Here are 7 reliable tips to help you change your mindset about how to view yourself and how to love your body before you lose all the weight.
1. When it comes to loving your body, the first thing I want you to think about is the non-scale victories.
Think about the things you can do on a daily basis to recharge your love for yourself.
Start with small decisions.
- Choose to workout instead of watching Netflix.
- Go out and play with your kids, instead of working a little bit longer.
- Get off work early and go to the gym.
- Wake up early and go to the gym.
- Spend time with God and learn how to love yourself emotionally.
Those are all non-scale victories.
Those victories outweigh and are far more important than what the scale says.
Don’t get on the scale.
A lot of people will argue with me and say they need to get on the scale everyday. It’s the only way they can lose weight.
Their whole identity is wrapped up in the scale.
How many of you will weigh yourself and feel defeated, because the scale didn’t say what you wanted it to?
Instead, look at your non-scale victories.
2. Get rid of your scale. Ask your husband or best friend to hide it.
Or better yet. Go outside. Get a sledgehammer and smash it to bits. (Only if you really want to!)
The scale doesn’t determine your identity.
It doesn’t tell you who God created you to be. God gave you gifts, talents, kindness, generosity, and a servant’s heart.
Those are things the scale doesn’t weigh.
All it tells you is how much your entire body weighs.
The scale doesn’t determine your worth or value, or your identity.
Get rid of the scale.
There are so many factors that go into how much you will weigh each day. For example:
- How much muscle mass do you have?
- How much water weight do you have?
- What did you eat the day before?
- What time of the month is it for women?
- How much salt did you have the day before?
There are so many things that affect your body weight.
I’ve been a personal trainer for 5 years and worked with many women. Sometimes they have a great week and feel like they’re doing great.
They’re on top of the world.
Then they get on the scale.
It didn’t go down. It went up a pound.
Then they pull out their hair, jump up and down and scream, “I quit!”
But they miss looking at the progress they made up to that point.
3. Start to retrain your brain. How do you view working out? How do you view weight loss?
Are you looking at working out as a form of worship?
- Or are you looking at working out as a way to lose weight so that a certain person notices you?
- Do you want your mom or dad to love you more, because you never felt loved unless you were skinny?
- Or are you working out in to get attention and compliments because you want to feel appreciated?
Make sure you’re not doing your workouts or eating healthy for those outside validations.
Do it for God and give the glory to Him.
When it comes to losing weight, it’s not only about losing the pounds.
Why are you holding onto those pounds? Even when you lose some weight, you need to ask yourself what it is that you emotionally need to work through.
You end up where you are because of a thought process.
- It could be something about how you were raised.
- Or how someone called you fat in high school.
- Or your parents were trying to put you on a diet and you felt restricted.
- Or you had a sister or a brother who was skinnier than you. You were the chubby kid.
This may have left you feeling like you were going to be an overweight person forever.
My “Wholeness and Wellness” group is about becoming whole in Christ.
The confidence we lack and the reason we don’t love our bodies, is because of what we’re dealing with on the inside.
If you’ve lost 100 pounds or more, and you don’t feel good about yourself, I recommend you go to counselling. Losing weight is more than just taking off the pounds. Deal with the inside first.
If you never work on the inside to find out why you have a weight problem, then you’re never going to change the outside. Or even if you change the outside, you’re always going to want more. You’re always going to want to lose more weight or want more muscle. Your identity will still be in your body.
This journey is not just about losing weight.
You need to be strong for your purpose and to pursue God’s calling on your life. When you start to look at your workout as worship and not torture, you will begin to love your body.
When you work out, know that you’re doing it in order to be strong for God. If He is calling you to be a mom, or a wife, or to pursue a business, know that you need to be strong for that.
4. I recommend you change some of your workout gear. This is something I did.
Change your wardrobe. What are you wearing to workout?
What you put on before a workout can encourage you on your journey to loving yourself and self acceptance.
Michele Myers, ‘Cross-Training Couture’, and ‘Be Still’ clothing, are two companies I really like.
Tank tops from these type of companies remind you that you are working out for God.
They remind you that you’re working out for His purpose and not your own purpose.
They remind you that you’re getting fit for God, so you can be strong and have the energy for your kids, or your husband when he comes home. You also want the energy to go out with your friends and hang out at the beach or wherever.
5. The next thing is you need to do is clean up your social media.
In my first book, ‘Know Your Worth’, I share about the journey when I hurt my back lifting weights in the gym. I felt like God put me in check.
He stopped me dead in my tracks. He said to me, “Your identity is not in your body.”
It took hurting my back, for me to realize how much I stressed about getting to the gym everyday. I thought if I didn’t get to the gym everyday, I’d lose my muscle and gain weight.
That was the mindset I had. It was because I compared myself to people I followed on social media.
I had to stop following them.
There’s nothing against those people. But for me, in my own mental state, I had to make sure I was focused on where I’m supposed to be going.
If you’re following people where everything seems so perfect for them, you begin to think you should start doing everything they’re doing.
And you think your body isn’t good enough because they have a six pack.
And they’re in the gym for an hour and a half and you’re not.
You start comparing yourself.
Have people in your news feed who are going to influence you with your goals. People who will lift you up and encourage you and take you to a new level.
6. Make sure you know your triggers.
For some people being out in public or at social events is their triggers.
Prepare for your weaknesses.
If you know that social events are your trigger, eat something small beforehand. Have a shake or something, and then go to the party prepared.
For example, don’t just say, “Oh I always gain weight over the holidays.”
Whatever you speak comes to fruition, because you’re not being intentional about what you’re doing.
You don’t have to gain weight over the holidays anymore.
- Be intentional about your workout.
- Be intentional about what you’re eating.
- Be intentional about what you’re thinking.
Know your triggers.
- Is it when your husband orders in Chinese food.
- Or when your friends get together for a potluck.
- Or is it certain accounts on social media that you follow.
Prepare yourself before you get into that situation. Be mentally aware and think, “Okay, this is what I need to do.”
You don’t have to just let it happen.
Be intentional with your mindset and about what you’re going to do.
Make it a point to be aware of the situation.
Be intentional about not gaining weight over the holidays.
You open the door to your mom’s house on Christmas day, and the enticing aroma of gingerbread cookies fills your nostrils. You know there will be a spread of Nanaimo bars, Johnny-hales, jam thumbprint cookies and several other goodies.
On top of that, the juicy turkey and stuffing is making your stomach snap with anticipation. What will you do?
Be prepared before you get there. Prepare yourself mentally. You don’t have to eat all those cookies.
You can’t sit down in front of a plate of cookies and expect yourself not to eat them if you’re not prepared mentally. Especially if that’s a trigger for you.
Preparing your mental state is being intentional about it.
7. You need to have a support system. This is so crucial.
Surround yourself with people who will challenge you, but not criticize you.
Some people will say, “That’s stupid. Why can’t you have a burger? Why can’t you skip a workout? Who cares? Nobody is going to notice.”
Many of you start to listen to those outside voices.
You think maybe they’re right.
You think you can miss a workout, or eat those cookies or that juicy burger.
You get into a vicious cycle.
If you don’t have a support system, then create it.
Go find it. Go to a meeting. Go to church. Find people on social media. Do whatever you need to do, to create your support system.
Do you want to be free to be yourself?
Don’t forget that in 1 Cor. 16:9 it says our body is our temple.
Your body is not your own. You don’t own your body. When you’re taking care of your body and loving yourself, you are honoring Christ in your body.
When I’m working with my clients in my ‘Wholeness and Wellness’ group, we still workout and we still focus on nutrition.
But it’s more about becoming whole in Christ.
You become free to be yourself when you know God is the One who saves you and makes you happy. When you know He is your healer, your provider, and so much more, you are free to be who God created you to be. You don’t have to walk around in shame anymore.
Go over these seven tips. Because they are the steps to take to love yourself. These tips will help you love your body before you lose all your weight. They will help you with your identity. You don’t have to put your identity in your body anymore.
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