When I find myself scrolling through Facebook, I always see these blogs that say something like “10 Things You Need to Know About Men” or “5 Reasons Why You are Still Single.” I am sure you get my drift and have seen them, too. Very rarely do I find a good one that isn’t degrading to the opposite sex or isn’t telling people to sleep around just for fun and giggles. With that being said, I thought I would do my own blog with a number in it. I’m calling mine – 4 Things You Should Be Doing in Your Relationships.
I am aware that you need to be doing more than these 4 things but these are some good ones to focus on. Some of them are even crucial for long-lasting relationships. Let’s get to them!
1. Communicating Is Something You Should Be Doing In Your Relationships
Talking to your significant other is not always communicating. Day-to-day convo isn’t communicating with that person your desires, hopes, dreams, and wants. Communication involves work and being able to be vulnerable in front of the other person. It’s telling them how you feel or how upset you are of certain things they may have said or done. Communication is one of the biggest things relationships lack not only because it’s hard to be vulnerable and express our feelings, but also because it’s hard for most of us to truly listen. Listening is not waiting for them to be done so you can say, “That is so stupid. I can’t believe you feel that way.” To listen is to be fully present to understand what the other person is saying. It’s not about being right; it is about understanding.
2. Forgiving Is Something You Should Be Doing In Your Relationships
This is another thing that is very hard for most people to be doing in their relationships. Once they hit a certain amount of pain, they just give up trying. If a person has a history of failed relationships, every time they enter a new one, they are already prepped and ready for the other to mess up. They are trying to predict their behavior because of some past hurt they have yet to forgive. Time doesn’t heal anything if you don’t work through what is causing you the pain in the first place. You could be 80 and still hold a grudge with how your parents treated you. We need to get it out of our heads that time heals. Walls can be broken when true forgiveness takes place. Forgiveness is a decision. It’s about extending the other person grace instead of trying to demand them to repay or apologize to you in some way. It’s a decision you make for your own health and peace of mind. You matter, so do it for YOU more than for the other person.
3. Speaking their Love Language
Do you know what makes your partner feel most loved? I tend to ask a lot of people this and they really have no idea. Some may say this it’s bologna, but I truly believe in the 5 love languages that Gary Chapman wrote. We all have a special way of feeling loved. Certain things that others do for us make us feel special, appreciated, supported, taken care of, and so on. When the other person’s love tank is full, it brings out the best in them and in your relationship. You should study your partner and know what makes them happy. You should want to do those things for them even if you hate doing them, like cleaning the kitchen. Relationships are not about being one-sided. It takes work to learn and discover what really makes them tick. Don’t be afraid to ask them questions. Communicate to them the things they do that makes you feel loved and happy. THEN, when they do it, reaffirm them, say thank you, and let them know you appreciated it or how much it meant to you.
4. Being Selfless Is A Major Thing You Should Be Doing In Your Relationships
Become selfless and realize that the other person isn’t in the relationship just to please you. The other person isn’t there to just make you happy. If that is the case, then you are in a relationship for all the wrong reasons. Your goal should never be to find someone to make you happy. They will fail you, disappoint you, upset you, hurt you, and so on. If they are there just to make you happy, then are you just going to leave when things get tough? Being selfless takes work and it takes being aware. It takes compromise and also a lot of communication. It’s getting rid of the “me me me” mentality. Genuinely ask yourself “What can I do for the person I care about today?” NOT “What can they do for me today?” Start thinking about your significant other more than you think about yourself. (Yes, of course, you are important. Don’t take this the wrong way.)
Relationships boil down to working on you. Yes, YOU controlling YOUR actions and decisions. Once you are aware of what you are doing, then you have a better chance of improving each time. Just know that you always have the choice to love and care for the other person, even if you think they didn’t “deserve” it. The love you give will always be in your control.
Do you have any helpful tips people should be doing in their relationships? Let me know in the comments.
Know your worth,