Body Image

 

Body Image

I always try to write about what is going on in my own life. I write from experience. I write from pain and heartbreak. I write from joy and happiness. I just write.

When I write, I feel like I am honoring God and living out a special purpose for my life. I don’t know how many of you are regular readers of my blogs. Would you please leave me a comment below this blog and let me know? I would just love to hear from you and know you are out there reading and getting inspired.

A common topic around this time is weight loss. How much weight can someone lose, what new nutrition habits are you going to be into this year, and so on. These aren’t bad things because I coach people on a regular basis about this. I run challenge groups specifically geared toward weight loss and nutrition. The thing that, I would like to think, separates me from the rest is that I love to work on what is going on inside of you. If I have ever trained with you or met you in person, I am always asking questions. Not to be nosy, but so that I can understand what makes you tick. What makes you think the way that you do? What holds you back from losing weight and eating right? I want to know. The main topic I want to talk about today is body image.

I have seen extreme competitors and followed them throughout their journey of being lean to gaining weight – a healthy weight, I might add. I follow them mostly on IG because it is the easiest to follow. What I love about the ones whom I follow is their genuine openness about their healthy eating addiction, their obsessive working out, and their negative body image. When I say “knowing your worth”, this is HUGE when it comes to body image. God brought to my attention a season of my own life.

I’m pretty transparent. I am willing to share almost anything in hopes of inspiring someone. For a period of time in my life, fitness was a go-to for me. Lifting weights for almost 5 years now has been a huge passion of mine. What I didn’t know was this passion was slowing turning into an addiction that I didn’t always enjoy. Like anything, lifting can become an addiction. It’s how some people cope with life. It’s how some people get attention. It’s how most feel confident about themselves when, in fact, they are the complete opposite of confident. I would like to consider myself a pretty confident person but what I realized is how I viewed myself and my body wasn’t always the most positive. I’m not saying I am fat. I’m not saying I don’t have muscle and I am not strong. What I am saying is I look in the mirror and think “Why am I not stronger or why doesn’t my muscle show more? Is eating this going to take my muscle away and make me fat?” I know it sounds crazy, right? And I know I can’t be the only one.

With that being said, I realized how working out became more of a chore than a fun activity for me to to take care of my body. I was in competition with everyone. Two years ago, I weighed roughly 100 pounds. I didn’t really know how frail I looked until I went back and looked at some pictures. I guess I have always had a fear of gaining weight, which stems from some things from my childhood. You almost subconsciously hold onto certain words and phrases that continue to be in the back of your mind.

As I continued to work on my own worth and my own image, I really became closer to the Lord. All of my identity is in Him. So when I read about having no idols, it stings my heart. Why? Because I am my own idol, to be honest. I worried for so long about the size of my bicep and the number on the scale. Day in and day out, those thoughts took over my life. Instead of good things consuming my mind, fitness and working out were on my mind.

Which brings me to why I am writing to you today. Recently, I realized again how much of those thoughts had crept back in. Working out is something that started to become a chore that I’m almost losing passion for it. I had to stop myself and ask myself, “Why am I working out?” I have to be willing to be honest and tell myself the truth. Is it to live a healthier, balanced life mentally and physically OR is it to just have a nice-looking outside appearance? Thoughts like “If I eat this or that, am I going to get fat?” started coming back in. One huge thing I have learned is that I don’t have to entertain those thoughts. I don’t have to agree with them. I have to question whether they are from God. Do they produce fruitful things in my life or the complete opposite?

What I am trying to help you understand is that you are not what your thoughts say you are. You are what God says about you. You have a million thoughts a day and if all you hold onto are those negative ones, you will never live with peace within yourself. EVER.

I used to hate to skip a workout out of fear. I would double up on workouts in a day. Now, I am able to skip a day or two and not feel pressure. Most people think I am in the gym for multiple hours a day in a week. Right now, I have been comfortable with around 4 hours a week. Four days with roughly an hour of workout. I’m always active with walking and/or doing physical activities depending on the week and the season. In the summer, my girlfriends and I love to have walk dates. The part that people don’t realize is that your results come with ample rest and proper nutrition. I’ve set a goal this year to eat more fruit and to start cooking even more meals to meal prep. So far, I am doing good but not perfect. I have never had too many specific fitness goals and I think it was because I also forced myself to “look good” on the outside. Now, I am going to take February and spend time meditating even more on His word and what He says about me. It’s a time to really focus on being healthy all the way around. It’s feeling so good to be able to release these strongholds I have had in my life. For me, it’s about freedom. When I have freedom, I have peace. When I have peace about me, I don’t need to compare myself to anyone. This, my friends, is what I wish for you!

Please leave a comment below! Let me know you were here!

Know your worth,
Jessica Vaughn