Self-destruction happens with words and thoughts.
God made us in His image so we would not be born telling ourselves we were fat, ugly, or worthless. It usually starts when we are young and then goes from there.
The destructive patterns seem to build after just one comment occurs. When someone makes a comment about our weight. When someone wants to point out how different you are from the rest. No matter where it stems from, it is usually an outside source. We feel inadequate and incapable of meeting everyone’s standards. From there, we begin to live a life of unhappiness, filled with people-pleasing, crazy diets, yo-yoing with our weight, unfulfilled relationships, and so much more.
The burden of trying to be like everyone else just crushes everything God made us to be.
For me, it started when I was probably around 12. I can remember people telling me I would one day get child bearing hips. (I was always smaller and more petite framed.) It was always felt as if they were saying, “You just wait and see! You will gain weight too.” Perhaps they didn’t mean it that way, but that’s how I always took it. There was always this fear of gaining weight, which in return made me do everything possible not to gain it. It is where my unhealthy relationship with food began. It’s when I really started to look at food as being a bad thing. Even if it was a slice of whole grain bread. Guilt would set in every time I would go to eat something that wasn’t really beneficial to my body and well-being. I still ate, but I never enjoyed eating. I wasted a lot of my youth, teenage years, and early 20’s, worrying about all the food that would pass through my mouth. I would think about my next workout and when I could burn off what I ate.
What an unhappy place to be – constantly worrying if something will make my cellulite worse or go right to my hips. I had to ask myself, “When is this ever going to be enough?”
I would have to say it got worse before it started to get better. Since I have my own fitness coaching business, it was easy for me to follow all the fitness accounts claiming the newest fad or tricks for getting great abs in just days. I got sucked into always wanting more of everything. More muscle. More strength. More, more, more! It was all I could think about but in an unhealthy way. It began to consume me more than God was consuming me.
I’m not here to say I am perfect now. What I am here to say is that this past year and a half I have finally been able to start really enjoying life in general. Which means picnics, bonfires, dinners out, and whatever else that comes up. I really have begun the journey of identifying my worth in Jesus. Man, has that completely changed my life!
I’m here with 3 tips to help you overcome any destructive thoughts you may be facing right now.
1. Identify your triggers. What is making you go towards those destructive thoughts? I am not kidding when I say that I have un-followed almost 90% of the fitness accounts I was following. Health is a huge part of my life, but I do not want it to become my obsession where it’s all I think about. This may not be your trigger. Find what it is and begin to work on it. This is digging deep, I know. I’m all about challenging you though.
2. Study scripture. In the moments of self-doubt and weakness, don’t turn to others for validation in your life. Turn to Jesus. It’s hard – I know. Don’t let the difficulty become an excuse. Psalm 139 is what I base my #KnowYourWorth brand from and one of my all-time favorite passages.
3. Go back to what made you become self-destructive. It has taken a lot of work for me to realize why I think the way I do. This is so crucial when it comes to your healing process. This is going to help get to the root of the problem, instead of constantly covering it up!
I hope these 3 tips at least get you thinking about things and headed towards the right path. I want to keep spreading this message and helping other people overcome what they see in the mirror. You are not going to be perfect. You never will. Life isn’t about being perfect. He sees you as perfect already. There is a reason He made you just the way you are.
I’m praying that you spend time working through this.
Will you do me a favor and let me know if this helped you in any way? Let me know how this resonated with you!
Praying for you,